I think that I am in the midst of a manic episode. I feel more alive than I have ever felt in my life, my art is better, I look in the mirror and don't cringe...I actually found myself thinking I was pretty today. I feel like dancing and singing and making love. I am loving every second. Colors seem brighter, I feel inspired to work out and write and draw again. My mind is going a mile a minute and I can't stop thinking about all of the amazing things I want to do...

But at the same time I have never been so reckless. I feel a all consuming need to just talk and talk and it won't stop. I can't make myself sleep and eating seems like a waste of time when there are so many better things to do. I am doing things that I wouldn't normally do, acting in ways that just aren't me at all. My behavior is pushing people away and ruining relationships...but I don't want it to stop. I want to keep feeling this high, I know it's not healthy but the thought of the mania stopping...that fall...is terrifying to me...
Is this a normal part of bipolar disorder? Do any of you ever feel this way?
I am just spinning so fast and I'm so scared that I'm going to crash. THANKS!
RAYLEIGH