Wow - no wonder you have severe anxiety and depression. First and foremost, you have to take care of YOU - or you will not be able to take care of your children. Please try to eat healthy and regularly. I second, third, fourth, whatever the number is - to kicking out the freeloaders. IF you are unable to get them out - have house rules, and if they do not comply - turn off the water when b-in-law is in the shower, pull the electric plug at the breaker panel when u and the family are going out and let him and his freeloading g/f sit in the dark and cold. Make his WANT to move out - cause like someone else said - as long as you make it easy on him by carrying the load - he isnt goin anywhere.

As for your husband - I can sure relate - when I tried to explain how I felt during my panic days - he didnt get it at all. Ask him how he would feel if a bear were jumping through the bedroom window while he is laying in bed...ask him to visualize it, and tell you how he would actually feel. If he is a willing participant - he will feel pretty much like you do during a panic attack.

You mention an attack when at the store - if it was the grocery store - and you were buying for all your family and the freeloaders - no wonder you panicked ! Must cost a fortune to feed that many mouths !

I actually kicked my grown son out of my house yesterday - he flip flops from his wife, back here, to his wife etc, and still thinks I am his maid, laundry lady, cook, etc, and he just watches TV or sleeps. After a certain amount of time, I got tired of being used.......and locked him out. He got the message...........and he will not be allowed back in here til he signs a "contract" with me for what he WILL do here - ie, laundry, cleaning his bathroom, taking out trash etc. I have no clue why he feels so entitled to have his every wish granted, but this "fairy"Momma lost her wand and grew some horns !

PLEASE take care of YOU - see a therapist to talk too about all that you have dealt with in last few years, and what you are dealing with now if possible. There are good meds that might help both the anxiety and depression if you choose to go that route.

Welcome to a great place.......we are here for you !