Quote:
Originally Posted by Seiya
I want opinions on this. I sometimes ignore red flags before dating someone. I am ready to try dating again and am talking to someone from an online dating site. Yeah I know, not the best choice ever, but it can't hurt to try it right?
Anyway, I have agreed to meet him and I'm having second thoughts. He made it clear from the start he has social anxiety, which I understand since I have some too. At first I thought it was cool that he is so open and honest. But now, I feel uncomfortable with how much he talks about it. He has brought it up in several emails now, which makes me wonder just how severe it is. I know he has friends and has a job and stuff like that, but I don't know. Would we be good for each other or pull each other down?
I got another red flag when he mentioned his upbringing involved super strict religious people, the type who think Harry Potter is evil. I don't know why but for some reason that gives me a bad feeling. Maybe because my own spiritual beliefs would be called evil by those people too and I don't know how much he was influenced by them.
I want to be understanding, since I have my own baggage too, but I don't know if this is a good idea. He said he is open to being just friends, so I guess I could meet and see if we could be friends.
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I'm not sure if you are most concerned about his social anxiety level or just the red flags in general.
first thing, lately for myself I think I would rather find a more introverted female, as I am an introvert and somewhat non-social. I have been with (all of my mates) only extroverted females and not one of them worked out. for me, I don't think the old addage "opposites attract" works. So in a general sense, answering your question about social anxiety, I don't think it would necessarily be bad.
The problem occurs with the fact that he seems to be overly concerned about it and only time will tell if that's a real issue, but that it makes you uncomfortable should say something, at the very least, to tread carefully in this relationship.
The issue with religion is probably a bigger one IMO. Simply because belief systems tend to guide people in everything they do and although I quote the bible on this, the principle is true that being "equally yoked" is a very good thing. That is, being from the same perspective on your beliefs. If anything is a real red flag, it's this, but that's only based on your framing of his belief system contradicting yours. It may not be an issue but again, I think you need to explore this a bit more before commiting to anything serious.