I should be happy. I'm doing alright so far in school, my family is being at least decent to me, my friends care a whole bunch about me and I just found out my roomate should be out of the hospital later this week...

Why am I not #!$&ing happy?!?

I had therapy today. It was completely useless. I can't talk, I can't cry, I feel like I'm in a big all-encompassing fog of despair and loneliness and misery and I don't know how to get out of it.

I'm dealing with thoughts that I'd rather not put up with, and trying really hard to take better care of myself and do more good in my life. Trying to believe all the nice stuff people say about me.

Nothing is working.

I so entirely want to quit.

Please tell me I can get through this in one piece, I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams.

I'm so scared to post this... I've made two posts the last two days, both deleted. I'm not one to ask for help but I know that sometimes that is something I need.