Ugh....going to the mall yesterday....the first time in over 2 years....I even went into a store where there weren't many people (Bath & Body) as I wanted to get a few things rather than buy over the internet.

For some reason....it just really got to me....massive anxiety attack just walking through the mall....by the time I got out to my truck & my dogs....I was struggling to keep the depersonalization away because I desperately had about 1 hour drive to make. I had one more thing left on my to do list & I was struggling to even get to the craft store to buy my circular knitting needles that I have been needing for over a month....I think I must have zoned out in the craft store....luckily I only got the 2 knitting needles I needed....but it took me forever in the store.....the hour drive seemed to take forever to get to my ballroom dancing lessons I needed to get to.

I was so wiped out when I got home last night....I took a hot shower & fell into bed.....& still woke up with that zoned out feeling this morning.

I get scared driving when I'm in that state.....The year after I went through a trauma while in outpatient treatment for it....I actually got into 2 auto accidents where I ran into the back of both care within 1/2 hour or each other because I had zoned out so bad it was like I wasn't even driving.....

Don't think I will be going to the mall alone any time soon after yesterday.....I really hate the horrible feeling I ended up experiencing.