I'm not in an intimate relationship with someone who is suffering from depression. However, I can weigh in as a caregiver. To a point. And as someone who goes through depression.

My mom has depression. She has battled it off and on for years. Lately, it seems to have reached its highest point. She really needs to get help, but it's hard for us financially. Therapy would be her only option (I'm lucky to be able to find ways to afford medication) and she's not much of a talker. I get that from her. She has trouble doing things she used to be able to do so easily. Her depression is often crippling. I have to watch her go through this. And often times, it hurts. It really does.

I do my best to help her, though. Cleaning when I can. Helping her with her pets. The little things, you know? But sometimes, I feel like she is pushing me away. I feel like she pushes me away the most, because I'm the one who lives with her. I see her at her lowest points. I'm the one who hears her crying at night and sees her crying. My siblings don't hear or see any of this, so they don't understand why I'm sometimes so stressed out. Depression is hard on everyone involved. Does she know she pushes me away? The short answer: Yes. She has brought it up from time to time. She and I are very honest with each other, we always have been. She worries that I'll leave, worries that I don't want to be around her. Sometimes, I admit, I have times where anger and frustration and my own depression get the best of me. And I sometimes feel like it's true. But it isn't. I want to be there for her, to fight alongside her.

As someone who has been through depression. Yes, I know I push people away. I'm very aware of it. I became so isolated. So freaking isolated. I literally felt like I had no one left in my life but my dogs and my family. And the latter was as good as pushed away, too. It's easier to show strangers a relaxed side because... simply put, that side is fake. It's not real. It's a facade. I put on the act for so long. But eventually, I got sick of it. I didn't even have the energy to do that anymore. When I was happy, it was too happy. When I wasn't, I was too depressed. I was very, very aware that I'd pushed everyone away. And it caused me to spiral into a deep, dark place.

My best advice is to remember to reach out when you can. It's the little things. For my mom, it's always the little things that brighten her day. She loves dogs, so sometimes I share pictures of puppies for her on Facebook. Sometimes, I buy her a rose and leave it on the table for her to find. Other times, I come home with several bags of dog food so she doesn't have to buy them for a long time. The little things matter, and they brighten our day (if only for a moment) more than others may realize.

I know loving someone with depression is hard, but the fact that you're here shows you do care about him. I wish both you and him the best.