Perna
it may look confusing,but we are both in medical field and covering office and hospital hours along with night admission coverage 4-6 times a month,I am in the office only twice a week the rest is hospital coverage.When we first started I wanted to help out my husband with night time because he gets migraine headaches if doesn't sleep with resultant moodiness.Because we share and cover same practice ,each one of us ends up working in one setting during given day,and to my H credit he wants me to stay home during weekends,unless it is busy and we both work. I don't want to deprecate or diminish his hard work,i guess i am little ?upset,confused? by his attitude:helping him out with his night shift soon became automaticly my responsibility,and when I mentioned it playfully he became upset and spoke to me like i betrayed him.So after long night of work followed by regular office or hospital coverage I am little tired and still attending to kids homework,house chores,etc...,all I want not to feel lonely after. I chose to help him at nights and I believe he doesn't like the idea of me working at nights instead of him,but if I stay in the same room on a busy night he becomes grumpy and upset till i leave the room,so he would sleep.I should add that he will not let me physically be absent from house during the night,and most of night shifts are done from home unless it is an emergency we have to attend .
It may be a bit confusing,but bottom line is :I see in his eyes disappointment and frustration if I try to change the schedule or mention even playfully to take over night shift ( which I will not allow anyway,because it is easier to deal with my fatigue then his headache),or study with kids,or drive them here/there.it was my choice- not unwritten obligation.I suppose simple hug instead of "i am tired,can't do or need to sleep" will do.And his parents like to make decisions and I have to accommodate according to their schedule as well.When they talk neither my H or my in-laws want me tired and overworked,they suggest to take a break or for example give up ironing,but only once ,and again after one and a half day of work and ironing his dress shirts,i asked if it is possible not to wear dress shirt on weekend, he became furious and we had a huge fight(apparently that made him feel disrespected)

sorry for long text,But am I overreacting and really do not understand what the commitment is?