Unfortunately children are not wise enough to understand the dynamics of abuse, and if brought up in that atmosphere may either marry someone like the original abuser or become an abuser. There lives are being changed by abuse.

If you feel you can't leave the abuse, at least get your children into therapy. The Verbally Abusive Relatiionship by Patricia Evans is a book which should be required reading for everyone on the planet. I stayed for 31 years; I wish I had had the information I needed.

QUOTE=Useless Me;3384781]I can very much understand what you are saying (and generally agree).

Imagine, if you can, if you were a male being EA by your wife. Very degrading. Very hurtful to your male ego / image. And there is no recourse..... I know at times I feel total rage - wishing to lash out - but I know that would make me the monster and it would probably become a legal issue where I would be the only person labeled as the abuser.

And I also have two daughters.... the love of my life and probably the ONLY reason I still breathe. It really bothers me that they witness what they witness. I believe they are wise enough to see it for what it is. It is my prayer that they do not view that as something 'they should accept'. That would really break my heart if their spouse did that to them someday....

I stay because I feel I have to stay to protect them from being the target of her abuse. I take it, and when she is abusive in general - I defend. My girls are 17 & 14 - so I think they know what is going on. I know that they respect me and view me as not only a protector but as a reasonable person. I believe they do not view her in that same light.

I am guessing you are in a somewhat similar situation.

Sorry that I have no wisdom to pass to you.... but understand that you are NOT alone. And your kids will love you all the more for defending them from him.

Gods blessings to you and your family.[/QUOTE]