Peachcream22 I can relate!! It has always been hard for me to get through bad times because people were just not available when i needed them. Do you or could you see a t or doctor? Maybe you need some meds to help you get through this hard time, meds do work, i'm on several and don't even want to think of how bad i felt off of them. Forget about your ex and walking in his shoes it will just cause you more pain. You deserve so much more than to dwell on it, and get on with your life!!