Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies. They really do help me so much! I actually talked to my husband about this today and he said to think if it this way: it's not like my T is using a butter knife to operate on me with...maybe that is so...I'm still struggling with this idea but I'm trying to take a different perspective on it. Maybe my T is using all his "tools" in hopefully a skilled way. I think ultimately it's just hard to trust that he has my best interests at heart.