I wish I could offer something to comfort you and make you feel better. You clearly are a good person being pushed to the limits of love and caring. In my own marriage, my wife and I recently ran into problems that we are still dealing with, but what got us through the most recent problems is that we both still love each other. Do you think you both really love each other? It's pretty amazing what you can survive if you do, not sure what would of happened if my wife and I didn't still deep down care for each other.