Quote:
Originally Posted by MdngtRain
Generally, the psychoanalytic approach is the most detached (Freud's brainchild) and client-centered theory is the most concerned about the therapeutic relationship in the role of therapy.
|
There is a difference between attachment/enmeshment and detachment/ lack of enmeshment. Psychoanalytic therapy can be the most relationally oriented therapy since there is intense focus on feelings between the therapist and patient. The therapist works with the transference, which are often highly-charged emotions that arise from the relationship and the patient's past relationships. The therapists neutral stance has a very containing effect. But it is not the same as being detached.
Quote:
|
In healthy relationships with a strong connection, however, each person can pay attention to the other without losing or compromising their sense of self. Neither changes who they are or what they think or feel to please the other person. They can be apart without falling apart and be together without losing their individuality. Love is about the freedom to be yourself and be loved just the way you are, even if it's different from your partner.
|
The neutrality also allows the client space to be herself without fear of rejection or abandonment. The therapist does not judge or be 'reactive'. That allows the patient to develop a strong sense of self because she now has a worry-free zone in which she can feel free to express herself in both actions and words, rather than consciously or unconsciously changing depending on what the therapist does or doesn't do/how the therapist reacts or doesn't react. The lack of judgment and emotional reactivity amounts to unconditional acceptance of the patient's emotions, thoughts, dreams and fantasies. I think this therapy is best for those of us who grew up with enmeshment, where caregivers didn't allow for the child to be autonomous. Often these parents grew up in a similar atmosphere, so the cycle continues.
Psychoanalytic therapy was the most rewarding therapy I've ever experienced, and there was nothing detached about it. It was the most intimate relationship I've ever had with another adult, and I felt loved by my therapist.
There are often misconceptions written about this type of therapy, so I wanted to explain what I know about it.
quote from:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-walking-eggshells/201301/enmeshment-in-family-relationships-111
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemystery
She expressed how hard it was to have seen me for hours upon hours (3+ years), and for me to have somewhat of a breakthrough, and then to regret telling her what I did and showing her the video. I feel terrible and like I let her down.
Anyway, then she said the most hurtful thing. She had been thinking a couple days ago about me and was wondering this: if I was just meeting her for the first time right now, would anything at all be different (in terms of how I act; I cannot look at her at all even though it's been 3 years, and have really bad posture to hide my face).
|
PurpleMystery, I am sorry you are feeling so terrible. I know therapists feel frustrated, and I think it's ok to tell patients about it if it's done in a way that benefits the client. Here it seems like either she was expressing how difficult it was seeing this to show how much she cares, how much she wants to help you, but the other thing that crossed my mind is that maybe she is (unconsciously) making you responsible for her feelings here?
I hope you can give her the benefit of the doubt and try to work through this. But I wanted to let you know that a therapist I once had did subtle things to regularly 'guilt' or 'shame' me (which I didn't know at the time), but now I know that behavior results from a T who hasn't worked through all her issues. If this isn't a pattern with her, than maybe the source of these difficult feelings is not her issues.
It must feel awful to fear T is giving up on you. I didn't see anything you have written here that conveys that message, so maybe it is projecting your feelings that she let you down? If so, that is a healthy thing to acknowledge and work through. I hope that is all it is. Best to you.
