Freewilled: I agree that it is frustrating, and I've always wondered how in the world she could be so patient with me. But I guess I reached my limit with her. I do feel that rug being pulled out from under you feeling too. Thank you for describing it so well. It's tough when they've said that it's okay to be feeling this way, and that you can take all time time you need, and then eventually they do get frustrated (though I completely understand why she was). I've had the same fear deep down that one day she would say enough is enough. She didn't let me go, and I don't think she will. But I agree that it's tempting to say "I told you so."

_Mouse: I do still think that my T is skilled and helpful, though I agree with you that she didn't seem to understand me being closed down and silent in the session after I opened up. I don't think she understands why it's all so hard for me (a contributing factor has to do with my feelings for her). She mostly sees clients on a short-term basis, so I think she may be comparing me with others and seeing that even though I've seen her much longer, I'm much more closed off. I think overall her intentions were good, she didn't do anything wrong, and this will be a helpful experience for me. But it's possible that she could have been more understanding and maybe she let her own feelings about her performance get in the way? I appreciate your point of view.