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Originally Posted by Autumn Skies
The neutrality also allows the client space to be herself without fear of rejection or abandonment. The therapist does not judge or be 'reactive'. That allows the patient to develop a strong sense of self because she now has a worry-free zone in which she can feel free to express herself in both actions and words, rather than consciously or unconsciously changing depending on what the therapist does or doesn't do/how the therapist reacts or doesn't react. The lack of judgment and emotional reactivity amounts to unconditional acceptance of the patient's emotions, thoughts, dreams and fantasies. I think this therapy is best for those of us who grew up with enmeshment, where caregivers didn't allow for the child to be autonomous. Often these parents grew up in a similar atmosphere, so the cycle continues.
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Thank you for sharing more about psychoanalytic theory. My T has a client-centered/humanistic approach. I can see what you're saying about how the neutrality lets the client feel safe to express his/herself. Now that my T has expressed frustration, I know it's always going to be at the back of my mind and I will be worried about whether I'm doing well enough or not. I'm also going to be afraid to tell her that I'm worried about opening up about something. I can foresee it causing problems in the future... I'm still glad she said something though.
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PurpleMystery, I am sorry you are feeling so terrible. I know therapists feel frustrated, and I think it's ok to tell patients about it if it's done in a way that benefits the client. Here it seems like either she was expressing how difficult it was seeing this to show how much she cares, how much she wants to help you, but the other thing that crossed my mind is that maybe she is (unconsciously) making you responsible for her feelings here?
I hope you can give her the benefit of the doubt and try to work through this. But I wanted to let you know that a therapist I once had did subtle things to regularly 'guilt' or 'shame' me (which I didn't know at the time), but now I know that behavior results from a T who hasn't worked through all her issues. If this isn't a pattern with her, than maybe the source of these difficult feelings is not her issues.
It must feel awful to fear T is giving up on you. I didn't see anything you have written here that conveys that message, so maybe it is projecting your feelings that she let you down? If so, that is a healthy thing to acknowledge and work through. I hope that is all it is. Best to you. 
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I wasn't able to put it into words, but I honestly think you may be right that she could have unconsciously tried to make me responsible for her feelings. It's impossible to know for sure, but she had a very different tone from usual. I felt like I was a kid being chastised, though it could have been me projecting my feelings. She just seemed like she didn't believe in me anymore, when she always has. Before she has always been so patient, so accepting, and careful about not pushing too hard. Hmm, I will have to consider this carefully.
I'm sorry to hear about your T that tried to guilt/shame you.
I don't think that this is a pattern with my T. It's probably just me projecting my feelings, but definitely something to talk more about next week. Thanks for your input!