I'm sorry if this isn't the proper forum but I do really need some help with this. It might be long. This is something I don't think about often but I am aware of it. There's clear memories and fuzzy ones. Recently I was triggered and this came to my mind. I have never before spoken about this.
When I was in elementary and middle school I took a school bus to and from school. We had basically all the same people on the bus for many years. I was one of the last spots, Megan was the very last, so I was on it for a long period of time. There were these two boys, one white and one black, who I had known from the bus for years. They were a year younger than me. When I was in 7th and 8th grade they began to get very sexually aggressive, I guess hormones kicked in. There were three other girls who were also "teased" by them but I don't remember if it was that bad for them. I remember they were in their grade and friends inside and outside of school so they were less bothered. I don't remember much of what they experienced, only my own so I will tell it.
These two boys would take turns on the bus or sometimes both of them would corner me in the bus seat and make sexual comments and grab at my chest. They would often hold me down in order to laugh and touch me inappropriately, whether it was my chest or my butt.
I remember clearly one of them sat in the seat next to me and refused to leave and forced his hands into my pants. I asked him to stop but he didn't. He never went all the way down there but I was comfortable none the less.
They were not always sexually aggressive though...some days they would be verbally abusive telling me that I was ugly and no body liked me and to get the **** away. I remember one of them kicked me in the chest once when I was just sitting there quietly. I remember he left a foot print on my shirt.
So it would go this way, they would corner me and be inappropriate then the next day they'd tell me I was ugly and no one liked me and then it'd go back to grabbing at me.
I don't know how I feel about this. It has been uncomfortable to type. I just feel kind of dirty about it, but I also feel as if I'm over reacting. I feel like it's just "boys being boys".
I could use some help..I'm debating whether to bring it up to my T, I have never told anyone..mother..friends..anyone.