We have actually had the discussion of why I dislike him (and it goes beyond just him being rude to the waiters), but she "forgets" every time and then a couple of weeks later will say AGAIN that she just cannot understand why I don't like him. Last time, I was just like, okay, MIL, the nutshell version is that he is rude and inconsiderate and selfish and deceptive, and if you want me to detail AGAIN the things that he has done to merit each of those labels, I will tell you AGAIN. She said that she knows I have told her before and she forgets or blocks it out every time. She asked me to go see her new therapist with her to discuss the whole thing. I don't think it will help, but I'm willing to go.

One sign of how weird and unhealthy my MIL's relationship is with this man is that she stopped seeing her previous T (also my T), because he told her the relationship was unhealthy. She has been seeing this T for at least 7 years (he was the therapist she and my FIL saw for marriage counseling and then she continued to see him after my FIL's death). She asked him what he thought of the relationship and wanted him to tell me that the relationship was good for her. We had a joint session with our mutual T and I told them both of the reasons I dislike this man. My MIL agreed that everything I said about the guy was true, but insisted that some of it is just due to his age AND that there are no other men out there AND he is nice to HER. When T refused to say the relationship was a healthy one, and asked her to really consider what I had to say, considering that she agrees that I am telling the truth about the man's extremely poor behavior, she got mad. She continued to see him individually and when he continued to refuse to say the relationship is good for her, or agree with her that there are no other men out there so she might as well settle, she changed therapists.

Her new therapist agrees with her that there are no other men her age out there, so she's stuck with this guy and might as well make the best of it. I have found 11 men in her age group with similar interests on senior dating sites, but she refuses to acknowledge that there are other men out there. She says they are probably not as great as they sound, they would not be interested in her anyway, they have probably already found someone and on and on. Anywwaaaaaaayyyyy. I think the meeting with the new T will be useless because the new T just seems like a sycophant to me.