I am kinda starting to see pdoc terminating as a sort of "new beginning". I mean maybe all this time everyone had the best intentions, in that they wanted me to get well, but in actuality, they were, to a large degree, unintentionally enabling me to stay "sick". I mean, until the contract, pdoc was all "u can quit me but i won't quit u" and everyone else seemed to have a similar attitude which leaves no room to desire change if everyone will always be there. I am not trying to say it is their fault that nothing happened. I'm just saying that while they tried to help they actually enabled no action on my part up until the contract. If that makes sense.

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