Back when my twin brother was suicidal I used to fantasize about him killing himself so I could get other peoples sympathy... I used to imagine driving to each persons house one by one and breaking the news and maybe, just MAYBE, getting a hug from them. You're by no means a monster by wishing harm on yourself. I'm the monster.
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It's not as if this barricade blocks the only road
It's not as if you're all alone in wanting to explode
Someone set a bad example, made surrender seem alright
The act of a noble warrior, who lost the will too fight.
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