Hi kimmemom,
Sorry no one answered you, so many threads get started here, that can happen, doesn't mean no one cares.

Well, you do have a tough situation, you did cheat/affair for 8 months, that's hard.
Your b/f probably still loves you, but just can't find a way to "trust" you again. A relationship is never the same when someone is unfaithful. He probably talks to this other girl a lot because he is still emotionally confused and hurt.

You lied to him for 8 months, that's a long time, not just a "one night cheat/affair", that's a tough one. I have been in his shoes, let me say, it really hurts and "forgiving is damn hard". It really took something from me that I never really ever got back and whenever I have a fight with my husband, I have horrible nightmares. It doesn't matter how much my husband tells me he loves me, how sorry he is, it still hurts, it just does. If my husband had cheated for 8 months? I would not have been able to get back together with him, it would have been too much for me.

I am sorry but I can't blame him for struggling and it sounds like he needs to talk about it a lot, so he was very hurt.

OE