I'm not entirely sure requiring your boyfriend to report back ever detail of his activities is fair; what if the tables were turned? I would never put up with that in a MILLION YEARS from anyone. Requiring someone to report their activities in detail actually signifies a great deal of mistrust in THEM... so I'm just suggesting there is likely a middle ground here that can be found.
I don't think it is unreasonable for a boyfriend to have female friends.

I have a lot of male friends, some who are VERY dear to me. I don't feel they all have to be buddy buddy with the love of my life.
if my boyfriend had a significant problem with that and refused to budge, the boyfriend would go, not the friend.
I appreciate that the particular circumstances are unique here, but ultimately trust IS given both ways- when you give it, you are demonstrating that the other person can trust you too.

...

I would question, in a very honest way, what your boyfriend would see himself getting out of a relationship where he says he doesn't know that he'll ever trust you again and has major doubts about the relationship- but then doesn't show much effort through behavior or actions in getting that trust or a sense of solidarity back again.

That is: he feels you two can never be the same again but then, almost to encourage this, engages in many behaviors that breed distrust and feelings of separation.

It's very confusing.
Maybe he doesn't actually know what he wants from the relationship, or maybe he is in a state where he can only see it as being successful if it is EXACTLY as it was before.

And I hate to be harsh- but after what you two have been through- it will never be exactly the same.

Not to say it will not be good, or even great, wonderful.
But you both probably need to just start over, with different ways of communicating, and a different trust framework. One that needs to be completely rebuilt. Neither of you can actually rely on any trust, pretty much, that you had before anything happened that broke what you had.

I'm not sure if this is making sense, but your relationship in the future has to be fresh and new and a complete evolution from what it was. Otherwise, you are falling back into old ways that lead you both to the negative events which pushed you apart.

If he, or you, expect things to ever be "exactly as they were"... that may be the first obstacle you face?

They can still be great, but maybe your expectations need to change.
And if he wants to be with you, he needs to put in work as well. No matter where any blame may or may not lay.

It's going to be hard, yes.
Not impossible. I wish you luck. <3