I went to a new female dermatologist for a complete skin check. She said that she would check me from head to toe. I had to take off everything, even my ring and watch. I used to get embarrassed at drs. but I actually wasn't, and she was quick. No big deal.

Later at home, I felt weird about it. Triggery, unwanted feelings. This ties in with my last session, talking about feelings for my T, and also some homework she gave me. The homework was a long questionaire about early childhood experiences with my Mom and Dad, like: what was your happiest memory with your Mom? With your Dad? Your worst memory? Was it easy or hard for you to make friends? What were your favorite books? How did you identify with the main characters? Describe yourself as a child. Many questions like that.

I realized that my good and bad feelings with my parents were all about my body in some way. Nothing traumatic or new that my T doesn't know, but weird.

I emailed her some of the above because I want to talk about it in my session. I think I have very distorted views about body stuff. It will be hard to talk about. I seem to want to get to everything before I have to quit!

It is very scary to post the above. I'm afraid of talking to T about it but I have to.