You know what. Yes, you cheated. Yes, you owned up to it. Yes, you are in therapy, working through your own things. Yes, I agree, with your therapist. And, even if, this isn't a physical relationship, clearly, he is seeking out things in that relationship, that I would imagine, you can offer him yourself, in the relationship, hence, my personal impression, of an emotional affair, which, those alone, are just as damaging to relationships, as physical affairs. So, if he met her, right around the same time, you met the person you had, an affair with, and she is/was going through a divorce, then instead of being compassionate to you, as his gf, tells you that it's your 'demons' and insecurities, puhleeze!

If he is serious, about learning to rebuild trust in you, and you are being very clear in your needs, from him, then, clearly, at this stage, he isn't respecting you and the relationship isn't being the priority, his *ahem* friendship, with her, is now taking the top tier, so it appears.