With the holidays getting closer I am fearing them. I used to love the holidays but over the last few years I dread them. If it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't even do anything except for hide. This time of year I start to become more withdrawn and it's starting to affect my life and my family. I am seeing Christmas Show on TV, decorations in stores, there is no hiding from it. For some reason this year it is hitting me hard and even earlier than ever before. I just want to sleep and avoid the world. I want to be happy and joyous like everyone else but I don't know how. I am hurting and scared. I am not sure how much more of this I can take. My family doesn't understand and wife is really getting angry with me. I don't know how to explain it any clearer to her at I have problem with this time of year.