Ok, so this is the third day in a row I've gorged myself. I'm not purging, I'm keeping thast promise to myself- been about half a year as I said in my last post- but I've actualy used some laxatives. I've ever done that before. Like, actual laxative pills, not eating a bunch of applesauce or raisins or some ****. And then today, I was being cheap and I bought some castor oil. Man, do not mess around with that! It made me really let loose in the bathroom, if you catch my drift. (I'm trying not to be graphic). So after that I'm thinking how gross that was and how I'm never doing that again and here I am a mere 5 hours later about to take some more castor oil because I jut gorged myself again. What I need to do is throw that **** away . .. . .