So, this is a question I pose;
Which do you think is worse: Having a neglectful/emotionally or physically abusive father (or parent in general I guess) or a deadbeat/no father at all?

I'll start off with my opinion. I guess I could sorta say having an abusive father, because at least you can choose to walk away- instead of being walked away from.
Like me, when I found out my father was my step dad , and my biological father divorced my mom and just effing went MIA for 9 years and still didn't
choose to have a relationship with my siblings and I, let alone contact us, I was often torn with thoughts of what I would do if he just showed up on our doorstep. I often felt torn between thinking I'd want to punch him and wanting to hug him. I mean, I also had a crazy step dad who was emotionally abusive(After a meltdown on Christmas eve when I was barely a teen, he and my mom divorced within the year), so I guess there was the fantasy of this potentially loving father that I never knew of that would come and make everything better. My brothers, on the other hand hate him and refer to him by his given name, I call him my father.