Thanks all of you. I appreciate your words and ideas. I do email him sometimes, and I guess this might be a good time. And I do forget sometimes that he is actually pretty nice.
It wasn't as bad as I feared yesterday. I guess he knew I was having difficulty, so he asked a couple of questions to get me started. He also said he could see that I was having more difficulty with self-hatred, which is true. It felt like he didn't really push as much this week, and we kept to somewhat easier topics.
I spend a lot of time not looking at him. I was doing better with eye contact a while back, but these last two sessions I've hardly looked at him. Actually though, by the end of the session yesterday it was getting a little easier to look at him.

Could I also ask about Pdocs? I never had one before. I just started seeing one. She seems determined to give me all these medications, but I don't know that I want to be on medications. I do have social anxiety, but I deal with it. I don't know that I want meds for it. And the antidepressant, well, I'm hoping I won't be on it forever. Do I just say that to her? And how long do you have to see a Pdoc? Cause I don't really want to see her...
Thanks again, Chrys