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Nov 10, 2013, 12:27 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2013
Location: Here
Posts: 341
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Oh, thanks for all the replies guys! I feel encouraged now. 
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Originally Posted by healingme4me
If your dr is already aware of these thoughts, would it be safe, to say, that these thoughts are your 'norm'? And if they are your norm, then does it stand to reason that these chores brought about these thoughts, anyways?
With that said, now, you are having trouble getting motivated, to even cook or take your dog for a walk? Does it sound like a depression starting? sure, why not? Will it, make a difference, in the meds you will need to take???
What do you, usually do, when the everyday tasks, seem mundane?
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Yes, they are the norm. And yes, chores make me think about suicide, especially just thinking about all the things that I need to do (so I try not to).  I'm not sure if it will make a difference, that's a good question that I hadn't really thought about (silly as it may sound). I guess I should bring this up with my doctor, even though I can't stand him. I'm getting a new one ASAP.
Since everything feels mundane and painfully boring I usually just don't do any of it. Except the TV and my computer games.
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Originally Posted by Nerak67
Often my depression just takes the form of total apathy. I am not miserable or sad but I have no interest in doing anything. I just want to stay in bed and watch bad tv. I make myself go to work but am bored and do the minimum I need to to get by.
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I can really relate to this! Thank you! I do not work, I don't feel that I can or even want to, even if that means it will be the end of my relationship (I can imagine my fiancé could get tired of it eventually).
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Originally Posted by bronzeowl
I think the important question is... have these suicidal thoughts been more frequent as of late? If the answer is yes, it really might be worth bringing up as it could be a side effect of one of the medications or early signs of a depressive episode (in my experience). Another question that your doctor would ask is whether you just think about it or truly consider it.
Honestly, it does sound like episodes I go through. I've always considered them to be depression. I think many people associate depression with feeling deep sorrow constantly. Sometimes, though, it can be apathy. Not wanting to do anything, not caring about things, etc. It could be depression, it could be stress?, it might be a number of things.
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They have been less frequent, but more intense, if that makes any sense. I have come very close to attempting a few times. I think you're all right and that this does actually sound like a depression. I also thought depression was the deep sorrow and relentless guilt that I've had for years, but I've read that it can take different forms. I will have to tell my doctor that I think I am still depressed, even though I recently told him I am not. I am not feeling a lot of stress, so I don't think it's that.
Again, thanks everyone!!
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