Hello. I am new to this web site. However, when I read that you are a home body and do not even like going out because you don't like people seeing you, I could relate. I know you are going through mania right now. I know I am not myself when I get hyper sexual. I get sooooooooo flirtatious and I am humiliated in my mind when I come out of it because I know for a fact that people noticed. I did have affairs. It is so sad. I have and still do not trust my own decisions. Before I ever had an affair I told my husband to keep a close eye on me and told him why. I was crying when I told him, however, I think he did not know what to do. I would highly suggest that you completely avoid situations in which you might be alone with another man. It is soooooooooooooo not worth it and the pain you will feel when you are no longer manic is so crushing and for me it was debilitating and eventually tore my family apart.
Today, and for the last year, I have been very depressed with a few hyper sexual times. I am so depressed that I am in a dark pit unable to see the sun. I am so tired of living like this. I want so badly to be "normal" for myself and for my children. I sleep allot. If I get 10 hours I am good. Less than 9 and it starts to take a toll on me. My moods are all over the place. I have always felt that I do not deserve happiness or love and this feeling always haunts my relationships. I am afraid of being hurt so I push people away and try to keep to myself. Any way, thanks you for posting. I know I am kinda all over the place lol. Kinda the name of the game with bipolar.

Tammy