I have always felt like a "freak". I feel like when people look at me they see a big F stamped on my forehead. I know that this is my illness that makes me feel this way plus my upbringing. I am tired of feeling this way. I push everyone away when they get to close because I do not want people to get to know me that well because when they do, they will "know" me and I fear they will leave me or that I will not be able to handle a relationship. I often keep my emotions for others at bay because I can not handle true connections with others at this point in my life because I have been so depressed that I can't even take care of myself. I don't like to leave the house because I do not want people too look at me. I am going back to the doctor tomorrow to see about changing my meds but I have had bad reactions in the past to med changes but I don't know where else to turn. Thank you for posting.
Tammy