My T is a good person. She is very nice and kind, she would never do anything to make me upset without apologizing and trying to steer towards something else instead.

But, I am afraid of being influenced by her.

I have only been her patient a short while, and immediately after she spoke to me for the first time she looked at me oddly and asked "Do you know if you dissociate?" I had no idea at the time what that meant, so I told her I didn't know and she briefly explained it to me. When she told me about its other alias: Multiple Personality Disorder, I became very frightened.

I didn't know if I was or wasn't dissociating, and I have asked multiple questions on the Dissociative Disorders board and researched it and everything. I began to feel panic at some similarities at first, and I thought with a certain amount of dread that I must have been not noticing my symptoms unconsciously.

But DID is so rare, and I don't really know whether I am simply exaggerating some mere coincidences for actual real problems or not. (For example I have a lot of memory holes, but that is probably due to my bad memory rather than becoming a different person entirely)

My T keeps asking about dissociation though. During EMDR I kind of had a strange experience (Felt light-headed and spacey), and the first thing she asked was "Did you dissociate?"

I really like her, I really do, but I feel like she is trying to herd me into a diagnosis. And I don't want to work myself up and possibly unconsciously fake the symptoms or something.

What do I do? Should I tell her, or should I just go along with her judgement?