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That sounds like a lot of stuff came up for you, you numbed yourself. And it was really hard and painful and scary. And it sounds like you had a good friend with you. And you were able to remember it and tell what happened to you.
And now you have to wait until Wed to see your T. I would hate the waiting part too.
I'm not hearing what happened that you should feel shame about, but I understand and accept that it made you feel that way. I imagine that is very hard.
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