Hi Mitch,
Let me just say how sorry I am she did this to you. Let me also say that this IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Look, I cheated on my bf for 8 months. I'm not proud of it, but I want you to understand that all those reasons you listed are HER problems, not yours. I can vouch for some of them, but dammit, I have a mouth. If I was so dissatisfied I should've opened my mouth. I won't get into my issues as to why I didn't open my mouth and why I didn't work harder at the relationship, but the bottom line is, those were/are MY issues, not his.
I now know, through a lot of therapy, what's going on and what I need to do and I'm all in for making it right. Do I need help from him to do this? Yes, I do. But I also know in order to move forward I need to kiss his *** and thank the good Lord for giving me another chance. If your wife is not willing to kiss your ***, get some therapy and work on making this right, then she is not the person for you. I know that's not what you want to hear, but do you really want to spend your life with someone who won't respect you?
I don't know where my bf and I are headed, but I do know that if we can't have mutual respect for each other, it won't work and we both deserve better than that. Good luck to you my friend, just remember, no matter what happens, you will be okay