Thanks you guys! Pat, she just turned 21. You are all correct, for sure. I'm changing things a little at a time. I think part of it is that she knows that as her mother, I will love her forever, no matter what, more than anyone else in her life. I think she considers me "safe." What Dr. Phil refers to as a "safe place to fall." If I could just teach her not to pee in her life boat!