There is a book that you might find helpful, titled "The Verbally Abusive Relationship." It helps you to recognize the patterns and how to respond to them. It may be possible to save your relationship. The big "if" is whether he is willing to change, as well as you being willing and able to change how you respond to him and let him know that you will no longer accept being abused. Not everybody is willing to change, so that can be a deal breaker. Counseling can help if you go to a counselor who is able to see what is really happening and call it as it is.

Do you feel safe? If he is physically abusive, or you otherwise are in danger, safety is the priority. You need to have a safety plan, whether you are staying with him or leaving. There are instructions for making a safety plan on the internet, and there is also help available, even if you just want to talk to someone and get moral support, figure things out, find out about options, etc. They aren't going to make you do anything that you don't want to do. The national hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). You can also look at their website, The National Domestic Violence Hotline | 24/7 Confidential Support or others. You can find specific hotlines for your area too, but this one is a good place to start.

In deciding what to do, sometimes it helps to write out the pros and cons and ask yourself what you are afraid of. This is a legitimate question that deserves an honest answer. What are you afraid of if you stay? What are you afraid of if you leave? There are reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. I stayed in one for 20 years. To be honest, some of my fears did come true, but I'm still better off out of that relationship. You have to decide when you are ready, but you don't have to live like that.

Please don't consider casual sex as a fix. Sex has so many complications and so many reasons that you will regret it. You deserve to be treated with respect, not used. It won't solve anything and can make things a whole lot worse.