well, okie, both of my daughters know i love them but i don't pay their rent or their utility bills. and they know that i would be a safety net, but i wouldn't do it at the peril of my own safety or sanity. 21 is old enough drink and vote. so, she's sure old enough to support herself and live on her own.

you don't "owe" her anything. you gave her life and shelter when she couldn't provide it herself. now, she can provide it.

the longer you put it off, the longer it will take for her to have pride in taking care of herself and being self-sufficient. it may not look that way, to you, but that's the way it works for people. being dependent upon someone else doesn't foster pride or insight......it just keeps them dependent.

love, pat