Dear TeenIdle,

YOU WERE NOT TO BLAME......IT'S THE BOYS WHO ARE TO BE BLAMED. I am so shocked that no one took it seriously.....we need to GET OVER "Boys will be boys". If children bully, it's because they probably are from rough home where parents don't love them or if they are abused. Instead of rejecting incidents as "boys will be boys", their parents should be made accountable for their behaviour. Bullies lack self-esteem themselves and that's why hurt others - it makes them feel good about themselves by making others feel inferior.....and that's probably what they experience at home. Again, that's not an excuse for their behaviour.....but to put an end to the acceptability for such a behavior by getting to the root cause of bullying.

Bullies target everyone they hate. If there's a very pretty girl in the class who does well in studies....she'd be targetted by all the students with low self esteem...maybe attacked physically. Bullies' favorite target are people who they don't think will fight back...thus making them easy targets for bullies. Bullies want to make anyone they can feel miserable, because it makes them feel good.

There is a grain of truth to the fact bullies love victimising people who have low self esteem (sorry if it hurts), who are weak, who are gullible. But....that doesn't make it their fault as the reason they were victimised. Think of a bull charging on a street....everyone running. It chooses to hit you. Then you hear that bulls hate colour red and you were wearing red shirt.......would that really make it your fault that the bull hit you?? It was the bull's fault.....so the owners are responsible.

I have been bullied all my life -by my classmates, by my teachers, by my juniors (as if there can be a greater insult ), by my coworkers, by bosses. The whole world LOVES to shove up their anger on someone else's face. The only way you can avoid being bullied is by standing your ground and standing up for yourself. That involves working on your self-esteem.....and that involves facing your mind monsters.

The fact that you connected "bullies victimise people with low self-esteem".....thus the assault I faced was my fault....tells me that you haven't dealt with the trauma yet (and that would be other people's fault who rejected such a heinous crime as "boys will be boys".) I request you to work with a therapist.

What you faced was not your fault. But you are not dealing with it healthily. Please work with a therapist.

I am sorry if you were hurt by any of my words.....just wrote what I felt.

Good luck!!! We are here to help!!