im awake cuz my dads making noise and cant sleep so now i cant

now im having bad thoughts for som reason.
having visuals of telling my mother to go burn and die in hell and scalding her face with coffee.

i havent had violent visuals in a long time. but i am right now.

i have been doing fine for about a week or so until last night. when my dad started drinking.

edit//
now im getting thoughts that arent my own
and having flashbacks of the hospital.
i get a lot of flashbacks about the hosptal.