Hi there, can you tell me if this is typical?
I went to the ER with paranoid delusions of reference. I was hoping to get a neuropsychological evaluation since my psychiatrist recommended I go to the ER in order to get that type of deeper assessment.
I ended up staying overnight in the psych ward ER, then rapidly committed to the regular inpatient ward. It was awful because if I am crazy, I'd rather be crazy in my own apartment with my creature comforts. After a few days I was released and put into a partial treatment program (I get to sleep at home), but the paranoia had increased in scope and I thought my handlers and other patients specific to my hospital ward were TELEPATHIC. Yikes! Talk about the cray-cray volume going way on up.
Well I told the doctor this during the partial program, while fully admitting it was "crazy-sounding," but I hoped telling him would take the burden off my chest and relieve me to move on effectively. Instead, they threw me back into the inpatient program and said I'm bipolar going through a manic episode.
Being in this particular hospital is triggering in so many ways, within my psychosis, there's a negative association with the patients and staff within my psych ward (about 40-50 people total). I'd be much happier at home and to receive treatment that way, but they REFUSE to let me go, citing I'm a danger to MYSELF. I am not suicidal, and I never expressed suicidalality (is that a word?). In fact, I just want to hold my cat and drink a chai latte. Farthest from suicidal.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Can someone help answer me:
1. Do they truly have the right to keep me as an inpatient against my will or can I put on my shoes and walk out?
2. Based on the symptoms I told you and my story, does it sound typical for a psych program to be so trigger-happy to keep me as a patient (feeding me salmon dinners and art therapy programs, mind you--this isn't cheap to keep me as a patient, although insurance is paying for it).
3. Does the Mania portion of Bipolar feel like tripping on acid? I'm coming to conclusions about deep rooted issues from my past that I haven't been able to before, in a really profound way.
About me: 32, Female, NYC, high functioning and otherwise very stable and calm