Hi David
My mom was always a negative person. If I had followed her advice I would be in bed the whole day. I think she was in that way because early in life she had many disappointments, she hoped somebody to help her instead she got cruelty and abandonment. Then she learned how not to hope for the best ever. I did not realize about that but lastly. I made some progress in life when I started to do my stuff without listening to her. I learned to say, "thanks mom, but I will do otherwise". It was painful, painful but I managed. I think you may do the same, eventually. You will make it. I am disabled and from a very paternalistic country. I do not have lots of self esteem, but regardless that, I could do it. So, you will be able to manage that, you will see