Hang in there, breemarie (such a pretty s-name). Are you seeing a therapist? I know that helped me a lot when I was in the midst of my lowest moments. It was hard to drag myself to see her, but I did feel I was able to share with her the sort of talk about my troubles that I felt no one in my "real life" wanted to hear. Then there is the possibility to move on to the real people when you get some coping skills in therapy.

Good luck. (((hugs)))