Thanks sophiesmom. So far everyone has been really supportive (except this stupid lady on the phone). I'm aware that it must feel very strange for people to hear about my illness - they had no idea what was going on, and they probably don't know how to react to the news.

After a couple of weeks of near continuous crying I had a weekend that can be described as "pleasant". On Saturday I went to my usual pilates class (one of the (few) things I enjoy and really look forward to) but I felt very jittery, light headed and nearly fainted, and had to stop. Probably side effects of the medication. Despite this setback I hardly had any deeply depressive thoughts over the weekend.

The fluoxetine is keeping me awake at night so I haven't had any sleep, which makes concentrating on work even more difficult than normal. (Lack of concentration is linked in a deep way to my depression. If I crack this I will get better, I am sure.)

My next task it so find a counsellor/therapist. The experience with the lady over the phone has put me off looking, but I must get over it. I'm a very rational person (I have a PhD in economics; we are trained to think rationally). I think it will be good to talk to someone who understands my rationality and uses it to help me deal with my irrational emotions.

The GP has authorised some more blood tests on my thyroid (I take thyroxin), to allay my fears that I am under-medicated. I might have to ask her for sleeping tablets if the insomnia situation doesn't improve. I want to give the medication a chance to work if at all possible.