I too have had sex with guys that I did not want to but I wanted love and affection. I hate to remember what I put myself through, the risks taken, the heartache. I am lucky to have found Sean when I did. I was going through the trial for my rape when I was 11. It was hard with the PTSD but he stuck with me, through the nightmares, through both the preliminary and trial. I was in more of am emotional state then I am now but he stuck with me.