I'll tell you what I see...

I see a sensitive and perceptive individual who has great empathy for others.

And I see you running yourself down...
And that pattern being repeated because you don't think / believe that you deserve any different (you don't know any different).

I don't know what you are working on changing and in what respects you (and your t) don't think you are changing enough...

I've just got hold of this book from the library:

http://www.amazon.com/Using-Psycholo.../dp/1568210442

I've just started reading it. I'm really amazed. He (Kohut) reminds me of Linehan in some ways. The focus on empathy and validation and being non-judgemental. The notion that growth and change comes out of kindness and compassion rather than invalidation and pushing.