Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Some people are looking for a fight or an argument, and will deliberately say something that they know bothers another person. That's why we often say it is best not to engage with that sort of person. They know they are wrong. They already know you disagree. But if they get you to respond, then you might end up getting in trouble because you fell for their tricks and it looks like you started the argument. Nobody made you the boss of them, or put you in charge of deciding what's okay to say. You were doing that with your brother, now you're doing it at work. Just worry about doing YOUR best, seriously. I understand how you feel. I think maybe you feel a little left out? I was - I just didnt realize it, I was so used to being excluded at home. Do you have any friends at work? I would hide out there!
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I was not implying to be in charge of them. I was making up comments to say to people at work and just in general. By responding back you can change the way others will give respect back to you and others. It's respecting yourself and others at the same time. Some people do not know that by the way they speak that it comes out negative and you saying something can help them change. I know you can not change others, though by speaking up it can help you change yourself and the way others behave around you. And it helps them.
I don't feel left out. I don't like seeing the disrespect at work and I know I can't change them though I can help some. Even just disagreeing can help them see what they had said. And if it doesn't do anything then it doesn't.
Yes, others do look for a fight; especially when you can tell they are angry and how they behave daily. That's when you can speak calmly. It also has to do with the way you respond, don't let their negativity get to you; speak calmly and not out of emotion (don't react) but compassionately. Be assertive! Then you can disengage if they start yelling or wanting to cause drama.
And I do agree you shouldn't do it all the time. I don't do it that often around my brother, though I have noticed a difference in him after a while of speaking up every once in a while to him and helping myself around him.
Thanks for your comment!