My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and the last few have been basically leading to divorce. He started to push me away about 2 years ago and it is to the point we don't even share the same room. We have a child and he is an amazing Dad but I feel like we are roommates. A year ago, while our child was at a sleepover we had a big argument and I finally told him I felt he had depression and anxiety and he needed to get help. He told me he wanted space and that was when he moved into the other room. Eventually he was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and is working on the right medication. We attend counselling and he sees a Psychiatrist.
I try and be as supportive as I can but feel guilty because sometimes I need support and love too. I often get resentful when he is nice to other people and always offers to help others (one of the biggest things I love about him) but again think, "what about me?". I hate feeling that way because I tell myself that I am lucky and imagine being in his shoes and having to deal with this everyday. But still I am sad and very lonely.
Our child is an amazing kid and full of energy and life. I worry about our child thinking that this is what a marriage is like when I don't think it is. I want our child to be loving, giving, affectionate and passionate with their spouse.
This has been going on so long and I feel that I am exhausted and am no longer sure if I can keep doing this. I love my spouse and never ever want to hurt him but I can't make him love me or love himself.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Thank you