i am putting this here, rather than self-help, because it's short and i think it is of interest to our general population.

in self-help, boundaries has been a subject that causes a lot of discussion. boundaries for ourselves are very important.....

respecting the boundaries of others, to me, is just as important as establishing boundaries for myself. in fact, i don't know how i would know to recognize another's boundaries if i didn't have them for myself first. i have to know, first, what makes me uncomfortable before i can recognize that someone else is uncomfortable when i get too close.

here on PC, we all have such different personalities and we don't all feel comfortable with the same things. it's easy for me to forget it, as i'm on a keyboard and not seeing that person's reaction/response when i type.

having different opinions, to me, is a healthy sign of coping in society. and PC allows for some discussion when we disagree..... however, breaching someone's personal emotional boundary isn't a good idea and can cause a great deal of personal pain.

here, as IRL, safety is of the utmost importance. good boundaries are safety nets. they keep us "in" and unwanted influences "out".

there are physical boundaries, mine is about 18 inches. as soon as someone starts getting closer to me than that, i notice it and respond accordingly....if it's someone that i am comfortable with, i will stay there, if not...i move back.

there are emotional boundaries. my mother used to breach mine quite often. (and i also had some "uncles" that would try to violate my physical boundaries) emotional boundaries are very important in that i feel safe when i know that i can be secure with my beliefs and feelings due to the respect of others around me. in turn, i try to allow for different responses, reactions, etc. from others that can be completely different from mine.

it is a sign of personal growth when we allow others the space that we want for ourselves. it is a part of becoming mentally healthy and "growing up".....xoxoxo pat p.s. i am in a hurry and have to go to work.....allow for my rambling, please.