Oh copywriter1, very good post.

Sweepy62, try to just let yourself explore all this with your T so you can understand it all better. Try to set aside "any" poor judgment of yourself too, just be determined to talk it out so you can "learn" why all of this took place and even experiencing the flashback happened. Your goal with your therapist is not about being judged by your T or even yourself, but simply to "learn" whenever you struggle, that is really what "healing" is all about, growing, learning, gaining.

((Hugs))
OE