I tend to think of it as a chronic condition that, at best, can be successfully managed. I know I'll never be "cured." Currently, I'm having a good interval of not feeling depressed and not living how I live when I'm depressed. That's real easy to differentiate. My house is clean and I keep thinking cheerfully of what is the next thing on my agenda that I want to get done. It's a good feeling, but I would be shocked if it lasted indefinitely. It never has. I don't mean that I don't expect to have down days, as I know everyone has. I expect to keep having intervals of horrendous misery.

When I'm in between those intervals, it gets tempting to think I've gotten free of that cycle. But years of being up and down and up and down has taught me not to count on either the ups or downs to last.

My idea of progress is this: Make the bad intervals come less often. Make them last less time when they do come around. Honestly though . . . I've made no real progress on that. It's like riding the rapids. I just keep above water as long as I can till I get swamped again.

Years of therapy didn't ever change the pattern. So I've stopped going, just because I figured I'ld exhausted what I could get out of it. Go to therapy if you find it comforting. But I'ld advise against thinking there is ever going to come a cure out of going.

You don't have to go continuously. You can stop for months or years . . . and go back if you want to anytime you want. I agree with the concept of chronic depression going in and out of remission.

If major, sustained improvement ever does come, I think it is apt to be the fruit of having achieved one or more very satisfying human relationships. No T can give you that.