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I'm sorry to hear of what you are going through. Sadly I have no advice, just an ear and to say you're not messed up, the situation is and that is no fault of yours.
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gnat
Dx: depression and anxiety
Tx: Rhodiola Rosea, humor, denial, dance, and wallowing in my own self-pity
My blog:
http://messedinthehead.psychcentral.net/
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