I still ask all those questions except the last. But I do wonder what I did as such a small child to make her not want me. What is so wrong with me that she didn't find me worth fighting for or coming back to get? Why didn't I mean enough for her to call or write or visit? Was I really just worth absolutely nothing to her? Did she even care that I existed? Why did she birth me instead of just aborting me? How can she live day to day knowing she has a child she can contact, but still not?